A poem about salad

Men tend to be goal-setters, and we also have some innate desire to leave our mark, to be remembered. Something in us cares more about what people will think of us after we’re gone than what people think of us while we’re here. Well, now that was uplifting.

Medical people like talking to other medical people because you don’t have to translate. So, the staff talks to me like a regular person. And then sometimes the person I’m visiting outs me with something like, “This is my pastor. He’s a medical person too.” Then they change how they speak to me. For some reason, it's more fun if they just don’t know.

I’m full-time in the ministry. That confuses some people when I tell them that I also work around thirty hours per month as a Diagnostic Imaging Technologist (this is not a type of nurse). They say something like, “So, you’re part-time in the ministry then?” No. I’m full-time in the ministry.

At a high profile church where the app was being beta tested, the minister told us, “In the old days, we had to crop out the empty ends of the altar in pictures. This new-fangled technology solves it.” We also tried interviewing some church members there but most said they weren’t allowed to talk to the media.

(SATIRE) “In other news, several recent twitter polls conducted by user @KJB1612-11wuztook revealed that nearly thirty percent of Baptist pastors who suffer from male pattern baldness secretly envy religions where the clergy get to wear funny hats”.

“Despite feeling overwhelmed at how long it might take, and how hot it was outside, I set to work. ‘No more blue tarp!” I thought to myself. No more would I allow our property to be the laughingstock of the neighborhood. No more would we have to deal with the curmudgeonly wrath of Mary.”